Zombie Strippers

It's with ideas as this that I'm sure someone, somewhere is a fly on the wall, listening into my drunken conversations on what would work in a movie. As a prime icon of masculinity, and knowing how much I'm a sucker for cheap, low budget horrors, it's rather obvious that I would have paired zombies with hot, nubile young ladies removing their clothes to make a delightful on screen partnership. Yet the end result is still up in the air as to whether I should be shaking someone by the hand for making my dreams come true, or suing the arse off someone for stealing my ideas and invading my privacy.

What do you expect to see from a film with the most descriptive title of it's content
ever? Let's see, Zombie is in the title....so maybe we should be looking for some kind of chemical virus that's accidentally been released? Check. We should be looking for an infected carrier who happens to stumble upon our main cast and spreads the infection with one mere bite? Check. Strippers? Check. More so, Jenna Jameson and most of her adult film making co stars.

If you're looking for an intricate plot line with twists and turns aplenty, then please, watch something else. The turns here are only those of a zombie nature as all the pretty girls become flesh eating undead (with a spot of rational thought. Oh yes, more undead out-of-whack ideas), led by Robert Englund, who reckons he could cash in on this new venture of zombie stripping for his loyal punters. The effects are superbly carried off, satisfying anyone who craves the crimson claret galore in their horror watching. Guaranteed, blood will spurt, just like some of the girls in the movie, from every possible orifice.

Sadly, as expected, the plot, as daft as it is, is overshadowed by some really awful one liners, the likes of which that probably haven't seen the light of day since Nightmare On Elm Street V: The Dream Child. It'd be worth it just to interrogate Englund and asking him if they were actual throwaways from that script, as they sound just as dated. It does have it's moments where you can chuckle, we'll put that down to it's overall cheese though.

One to watch? Yes, if you're intending on having a group of friends over to discuss movie ideas whilst completely inebriated. On your own, use once then destroy.

Two and a half silicone implants out of five.