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News Round Up!

Okay I've been busy doing all kind of silly things like working and getting married so BLAMMO has taken a bit of a hit of late so here's a quick news round up:

Shutter Island:
The new Martin Scorsesee and Leonardo DiCaprio collaboration gets it's first trailer here (LINK) and looks deliciously like a by numbers mystery thriller. In any other director's hands this may sound dull as dish water but as anybody who knows anything about movies understands Scorsesee is a film making titan meaning this almost guarantees this will be Hitchcock style goodness.

Star Trek 11:
Didn't get a chance to review this for you before but JJ Abrahms' Star Trek was really good fun. The cast were superb (Pine's Kirk was an especially pleasing surprise whilst both making teh character his own yet retaining teh essence of Shatner's original) and the oh so very pretty 'add lens flare to every single shot' direction by Abrahms himself was both exciting and intelligent. Yeah it had some slow sections that didn't quite sit perfectly (and though I love him to death felt Pegg's Scotty seemed slightly disconnected with the rest of the universe) but it was both a brilliant action movie and, more surprisingly, an excellent Star Trek movie. 4 'I am and always will be your friend's out of 5

Remaking/ prequaling Alien:
Ah yes. What a shit idea. Not content with the turd that is Alien Resurrection (or the unmentionable AVP movies) Hollywood have discovered yet another way of flogging a dead horse. Ah well it worked for Terminator Salvation I suppose and I am intrigued to see how they heavy handedly chuck in the giant pilot seen in the original Alien.

The White Room:
Diora Baird's science fiction horror goes into production. Yeah maybe not as big news as Alien but it means we get to put Ms Baird's piccie up again so screw you all.

Mission Impossible IV:
JJ Abrahms (again) fancies another attempt at the M.I. series which, if the last one was anything to go by, is no real bad thing. Best end with a better final act this time and choose to release it at a time when the Cruisemeister isn't America's Most hated Actor (AMHA).

Avatar:
James Cameron's much hyped new 3d movie is released soon and... *yawn, snore*

Okay normal service shall resume from this point onwards.

Terminator: Salvation

The original 1984 Terminator, an extremely low budget B Movie style flick created by a fledgling James Cameron, made a star of Arnold Schwarzenegger and an instant classic was born. 1991's high budget, high thrills sequel is considered by many to be one of those rare things - a follow up that is actually superior to the original. Then Terminator 3 came along in 2003 and showed us the vital ingredient to the series wasn't Arnie, the established title or even terminating robots themselves but Cameron... and his absence was a death blow to the series. The film utterly sucked and even hot naked female terminators couldn't lift this from pissing on the original movies.

The Terminator was dead. Arnie became a politician and Cameron stayed in the oceans diving for treasure or 3D or whatever.

Then something strange happened: Fox green lit a spin off tv series to fill in where the writers strike had left the Kiefer Sutherland action show '24'.

Suddenly people were talking about The Terminator again and simply disregarding the 3rd movie. I like this kind of thinking and I do the same with George Lucas related material. Ahem - I digress.

Somehow this rekindling of interest somehow led to super hack McG somehow getting the rights to make a 200 million dollar fourth movie to the series. And SOMEHOW this superhack (who's previous Box Office awesomness in the past had provided us with Charlie's Angels and its Full Throttle sequel) got the world's most serious actor, Christian Bale, to star in it. We nerds all cried ourselves to sleep at night until a trailer turned up which actually looked rather good. Then Doctor Evil himself (Michael Bay) stated that he thought the movie looked shit, was a rip off of Transformers and would get pounded in the box office so we nerds decided fuck him - we love McG!

Anyway maybe I should review the film now?

Terminator Salvation isn't a good film by any stretch of the imagination but by ye godz it's fun! It's clumsy, badly written and features an ending that'll make you puke on your lap... yet still I couldn't help but enjoy it. It's like those He Man sweets you could get in the eighties that consisted of pure artificial colours moulded into a vague shape and sold to children under the character's name: they were yummy and fun but no way should you think about what you just put in your mouth.

Terminator is very much like this. It feels like a B Movie but with huge explosions and giant robots. Bale is every bit as convincing as you'd expect and young Anton Yelchin (last seen as Chekov in the new Star Trek) is simply perfect as the young Kyle Rees. And though both are bogged down with some weak dialogue and some very heavy handed homages to the previous films it just doesn't matter IT'S STILL MUCH BETTER THAN TERMINATOR 3.

And that's pretty much how I felt throughout the movie. Weak plot devices, strange character decisions and a large twist spoilt by the trailer (luckily thanks to the new US style trailers we get that seem to show the entire movie in bullet points I've stopped watching them and only watch teasers so this wasn't ruined for me) just don't seem to apply to the film because it never really stops feeling like a trash 80s movie. In the same way you don't complain about Snake Pliskin's character development or how nobody seems to be able to shoot John Matrix as he stands in front of a hundred mercenaries with guns I found myself forgiving almost all of T4's sins.

Not all though. The afore mentioned ending really is horrifically bad and McG should be punished severely for choosing Danny Elfman to score the movie. Every Mad Max style moment is ruined by an extremely ill fitting score where if the traditional theme wouldn't have fit then pure silence would have been far more suitable. Also the clumsiness of some scenes really do make you yearn for a better director (and writers whilst we're at it) but all in all I'm happy to report that when Terminator Salvation works it really does work.

However, to state once more for record, the important thing is this - Terminator Salvation is MUCH better than T3: Return ofthe Machines. Buy some pop corn and a ticket, enjoy the paper thin plot and big explosions and go home and laugh about the fantastic T-800 model 101 reveal. You'll have time to hate on cinema again when Michael Bay makes Bumblebee fart on The Jesus.

A solid 3 'Much better than I expected' out of 5

Bad News Blammo

David Carradine, star of Kung Fu, Death Race 2000 and Kill Bill, has died. Sadly it seems that the seventy two year old hung himself.

Yes - Bill killed Bill.

Sucks.

Pandorum - Trailer

Two things that make me worry about this sci-fi film that's on it's way. The first is it's "brought to you by the producers of Resident Evil". That's chilling enough. The second is Dennis Quaid. Sorry, but after the pain that was The Day After Tomorrow, I find I struggle to watch Inner Space now. Almost similar to liking bananas, being violently sick after eating some and then blaming them for the rest of your life for making you violently sick, even though they probably didn't.

One main thing that makes me excited for this sci-fi film that's on it's way. It look's absolutely fucking AMAZING. I don't even want to read about it. I'd like to be pleasantly surprised as a film like this hasn't really been seen well since Event Horizon, and that made me all doughy eyed like I'd been staring at Elizabeth Banks all day. In fact, I'm going to watch this trailer, then stare at Elizabeth Banks all day. Adieu.

Iron Sky

In 1944 a group of nazis escaped to the dark side of the moon... now they're coming back!

IRON SKY was announced on our sister blog over at NBoN (link on side of page) a good year or so ago but word is a trailer has just been released... so I got all excited and started to type up this article. However after some serious googling it seems I was mistaken but atleast it gives us anotehr chance to talk about what has to be a BLAMMO tastic experience when the completed movie is released in 2010!

Website

Without a damned clue

I don't want to sound like a stuck record but I hated this idea from the moment I heard of its conception. I love Sherlock Holmes. The stories I loved, the Basil Rathbone films I loved and, especially, the Jermey Brett ITV televsion series (which pretty much got it exactly right).

This however sounded awful from the start. Guy Ritchie directing? Oh heck. Robert Downey Jnr as Holmes? I love him, he's great, he's totally wrong. It's not that I mind people messing with the old stories at all (I loved the comedy version of Without a Clue starring Michael Caine and Sir Ben Kingsley) it's just I think I'm still a little hurt from the messing up of other classics that have occured of late (Lucas and Spielberg I'm looking straight at you).

If nothing else this does give me the the opportunity to tell a joke:

Sherlock Holmes and Watson go camping together and wake up beneath a beautiful blanket of stars.

Sherlock asks "What does this tell you, old friend?"

"Well", says Watson, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe". Pleased with himself he pauses and turns his head "Why do you ask? What does it tell you Holmes, old chap?"

Holmes turns towards his old friend and answers "Some fucker's stolen our tent."

Anyway here's the trailer so you can see yourself if you think this is more Casino Royale or Johnny English:

Proof of Cinematic Hard Times

Originality is clearly dead in at least 90% of movieland, studios want to concentrate on killing your nostalgic childhood dreams, rebooting franchises less than eight years old, adapting any old comic book series that three or more executives have read for ten seconds and in some cases, murdering them (hello Spirit), and sequelling and prequelling the bejeezus out of anything. Yet there is always a vast awareness to pick up the next potential franchise or moneyspinner that will make a considerable profit in these cash strapped times. Obviously, the winning answer right now is:

MAKE A FILM BASED ON POPULAR BOARD GAME, BATTLESHIP.

Fuck off now. Seriously.

My Name Is Thor

Well, over the weekend (and annoyingly during Eurovision I might add!), the man who landed the job as Marvel's God of Thunder in Branagh's upcoming interpretation is none other than Chris Hemsworth!

Who?

Having not seen Star Trek yet, this guy apparently played Kirk's father in the opening scene, which must mean by first impressions that teenage pregnancies are running riot in the future. He was also in Australian daytime tv cackpot eyecandy soap, Home & Away. Eek. Let's not knock that hard Aussie soap past though, it worked for Heath Ledger, Guy Pearce, Isla Fisher and errr...Craig McLachlan (Hey Mona is the greatest song of all time)! Whatever happened to those Neighbours twins anyway, they gave me filthy thoughts after school.

Anyway, if anyone knows what they're doing, it's Branagh and Marvel EIC, Joe Quesada often comments on his meetings with Branagh as nothing short of spectacular and that "he genuinely gets it" via his Twitter. He said that about Jon Favreau too, and that Iron Man fella didn't do too badly.

Enclosing: Verily doth.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

And on a lighter note. Nicholas Cage is making another movie!! *rolls about on the floor holding his stomach laughing* No really - this time he plays a sorcerer *more laughing* with Tropic Thunder's Jay Barachul playing the Mickey Mouse role.

Oh and Monica Belluci is in it as an evil sorceress *laughing stops*

Empire.com reports:

Monica Bellucci has joined the cast of Jon Turtletaub's The Sorcerer's Apprentice, currently shooting in New York with Nicolas Cage as the titular magic-wielder and Jay Baruchel as his assistant.

Bellucci will play a sorceress called Veronica, the long-lost love of Cage's Balthazar Blake. Some of you may remember the last time she played a sorceress, to quite terrifying effect in The Brothers Grimm, but hopefully this time she'll play a character less fond of draining the life from young girls to keep her youthful looks.

The film, which also stars Alfred Molina, Toby Kebbell and Teresa Palmer, is due out next July.

Fallout 3 The Movie!

No not really! THE ROAD is a post apocalyptic story written by No Country for Old Men's Cormac Mcarthy and starring a wonderful list of actors including Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron, Robert Duvall and, the always excellent, Guy Pearce. Another plus comes from the fact it's directed by John Hillcoat who directed Nick Cave's The Propersition a few years back. This should certainly be one to keep your eye on.

Link to Trailer

Chasing Windmills

For anyone that has seen the terrific tragedy documentary Lost in La Mancha I expect you, like myself, will be willing the grace of the gods upon Gilliam for this one. HE'S RE ATTEMPTING THE DON QUIXOTE MOVIE!!!! No idea if Mr and Mrs Depp will be in it again or not (but I suspect so) and we'll update you as we hear more!

GILLIAM BACK IN THE SADDLE WITH “DON QUIXOTE”

Director Terry Gilliam is set to bring his long-held dream of The Man Who Killed Don Quixote to the screen, producer Jeremy Thomas announced today.

Gilliam, former Monty Python star and maverick director of Brazil, Twelve Monkeys and The Fisher King, has teamed with Thomas to bring his iconoclastic vision of Don Quixote to life. Screenwriter Tony Grisoni (Red Riding Trilogy, In This World, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas) has worked with Gilliam to re-imagine the legendary adventures of the idealistic Spanish knight. The new film will revolve around a filmmaker who is charmed into Don Quixote’s eternal quest for his ladylove, becoming an unwitting Sancho Panza.

This is the latest twist in one of the most remarkable stories in cinema history. The filming has been a saga as epic as Cervantes’ 17th-Century classic on which it is based. Nine years ago, the original shoot suffered a series of setbacks captured in the documentary Lost In La Mancha, which became a hit in its own right.

Terry Gilliam averred: “DON QUIXOTE RIDES AGAIN.”

Jeremy Thomas said: “I’m delighted to be working with friends again on this irresistible project.”

Tony Grisoni added: “There's no escaping some pacts. Nearly ten years on I find myself lending a hand to get that crazed, giggling bedlamite back in the saddle. I'm talking about Don Quixote. In spite of God and the Devil, he shall ride again!”

RPC’s CEO Peter Watson was in charge of the complicated task of reassembling the rights. “I’m thrilled we now have the ability to put this film into production.’

The Man Who Killed Don Quixote has been re-developed by Thomas’ Recorded Picture Company, and is scheduled for a Spring 2010 shoot.

Gilliam’s latest film The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus premieres in Cannes on Friday 22nd.

Recorded Picture Company’s previous films include nine-time Academy Award winner The Last Emperor, Sexy Beast, Crash, Young Adam and The Dreamers. Recent films include the upcoming Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly-starrer Creation, written by John Collee and directed by Jon Amiel.
HanWay Films is handling international sales. Upcoming titles include Scott Hicks’ The Boys Are Back starring Clive Owen, Gurinder Chadha’s comedy It’s A Wonderful Afterlife, Sam Taylor Wood’s Nowhere Boy about John Lennon’s teenage years, feelgood comedy We Want Sex starring Sally Hawkins, and thriller Harry Brown starring Michael Caine.

Ein! Zwei! Die! - A Dead Snow review

Dead Snow (or as it's known in it's native Norway, Død snø) sounds absolutely ludicrous on paper. Eight medical students embark on a skiing holiday in the Norwegian mountains to forget about the trials and tribulations of everyday life, and require a much needed break of drunken escapism and debauchery. It just so happens that they run into a group of bloodthirsty Nazi zombies and all hell breaks loose. Yes, I totally agree that sounds not too distant from any of those low budget romps that are hidden away from the general public, save for a late night showing on a sci fi channel. How wrong can you be?!! Dead Snow is a well polished corker of a zombie film, which by no means intends to take itself seriously in any shape or form.

The students are met by a strange hiker-type chap who sits with them over a few drinks and shares his stories of how a Nazi battalion occupied the very area they're in, only to be warded off by fearless locals, where the battalion fleed to the hills and supposedly froze to death in the snow. It's from here that ye olde cliches begin to appear (well someone's got to have a reason for Nazi zombies to attack, right?) and the blood begins to spill.

This is a fine example of "how to do it right". We may never, ever escape the curse of the running zombie, but we should embrace the change. After all, we evolved from apes, why can't a zombie evolve? Put that by the wayside, purist, the checklist is there for everything you want to see in a zombie movie. Gore, guts, girls (nom) and gallons of blood. What it also contains are the fine homages and nods to the geniuses that came before it, yet offering a distinct personality of it's own. The action is fast paced, the comedy is hilarious and on a par with good ole' British filthiness, yet dramatic moments are just as impactful, and some of the shots in the open scenes look absolutely stunning. The zombie effects are just as I'd imagined a frozen zombie would look like. Dead and slightly blue. Win! What's also on display are a number of unique perspectives, including something I've always wanted to see and thought would have been a cool idea many years ago, seeing through the eyes of a zombie. Oh, damn you for being so good!

Dead Snow is a film I can come back to time and time again, which means it can sit nicely amongst the Evil Dead trilogy, Braindead, and for those that appreciated it, Shaun Of The Dead as a definitive classic in the comedy horror stakes. Get your beadies fixed on it as soon as possible.

5 out of 5 frozen undeads on a stick - in 5 different varieties!

Klaatu barada nikto? The Day the Earth Stood Still Review

I'd heard mixed reviews of this modern remake on a 1951 classic. Empire magazine gave it a 3 'surprisingly decent' out of 5 mark and many described it as 'not THAT bad'. Well dear readers I offer you this - The Day the Earth Stood Still is dreadful.

Many times throughout this dreary attempt at a catastrophic disaster movie I reached for the STOP button on the DVD player but willed myself on, each time to become more and more disappointed with myself.

The story is very simple. Keanu Reeves is an alien who comes to Earth to destroy mankind (and save the planet). Jennifer Connolly is a scientist that changes his mind by showing how mankind are actually good *pukes*

Whilst the original movie was a clever B Movie with a decent message within, this remake just wants desperately to be Independence Day (and why anybody would want that is beyond me little brain). It fails on every level really and any time you think the story is picking up Jaden Smith turns up to make you throw things at the screen.

The real shame comes from wasted oiportunity. The cast is fine (even Keanu seems to play the role of the alien Klatuu well in his own unique way) but they're given so very little to do. Poor little Jaden Smith just whines throughout; Connolly (always worth watching) isn't; and John Clease is in a blink and you'll miss him role.

There is no real feel oftension as you simply don't care for any of the characters and the end doesn't really make much sense **SPOLIER** because Klaatu sacrifices himself to save the gun totting mad humans that have been trying to blow up his space ship for the last hour simply because Jennifer Connolly and Jaden Smith ummm... actually I've no idea why **END SPOILER**

Quite simply this is a very weak special effects blockbuster with Roland Emmerich aspirations. If this isn't reason enough to not watch it then how about this? The 1951 version is infinitly better in every department (including special effects).

2 'Wait for it to come on TV on a very rainy day' out of 5

Interesting Nerd Note: Spell check has no problem with 'Klaatu barada Niktu'..!

The Running Blammo

For those who love stuff like The Running Man (i.e. me) the guys behind Crank bring their latest slab of ludicrous (excuse the pun) silliness with GAMER. Starring Gerard Butler and Ludicrous it looks like the kind of trash that you may pretend not to like but secretly buy and watch every Saturday night...

Check out the trailer below:

Rumourville!

Don't know how much truth there is in this one but I received an email an hour ago stating that my all time favourite girl of the moment (oh what a wonderful sentence of contradictions), DIORA BAIRD, is in talks to feature in a new science fiction movie called The White Room (directed by Alun D Pughe and photographed by ex Vogue magazine snapper, Simon Miller). Much more on this as it comes (and of course more excuses for photographs).

Salvation is still coming...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Alien Nation?

That's the impression you get when you watch the latest teaser trailer to be released for District 9, produced by Peter Jackson, and directed by the talent he has blurbed on about for years, Neill Blomkamp. Neill hasn't actually done anything for the big screen yet, but Jackson had him attached to the Halo movie for aeons, and look where that ended up. HELL, I TELL THEE.

District 9 then. There's been a lot of interest in this, despite having little information released, bar a few viral images spray painted on walls and signs at comic-cons pointing to either "human" or "non-human". Until recently, where the first teaser arrived for everyone to see, and the world stopped for a second to go "AHA! AWESOME! I WAS RIGHT! TO THE INTERNETS!". Pretty much what I've just done here and now. You can do the same in two minutes, after you've watched the very same teaser. Then you can head over to NBoN, to see Blomkamp's original short for this, Alive In Joburg.

You F*cked with the Wrong Mexican...

Oh this is possibly the greatest news ever! Today it was officially announced that MACHETE is going into production. Not only that but it seems this will be a reoccurring character like that of 'Charles Bronson in the Death Wish movies'.

On a slightly less awesome note Rodriguez also wishes to get the Predator movies back onto the screens. Now I adore the first movie. It's one of my favourite action flicks of all time. But after the horrible taste of Star Wars and Indiana Jones being dragged back and face raped in the process I'm more than a little concerned.

Latin Review reports:

Robert Rodriguez is ready to cut a wide swathe, and his plans include re-launching the "Predator" franchise for Fox and co-directing "Machete."

For the later, the filmmaker will create a feature out of the blade- wielding antihero who appeared in a mock trailer that was part of "Grindhouse."

Rodriguez is eyeing a June start date in Austin for "Machete," a film that is financed and produced by Overnight Productions, with Danny Trejo starring as the title character.

Machete is a Mexican ex-Federale with a gift for wielding a blade, who hides out as a day laborer, who is double-crossed by a corrupt state senator.

Rodriguez wrote the script and will direct the film with Ethan Maniquis, his longtime editor. The film is being produced by Rodriguez, Rick Schwartz of Overnight Productions and Aaron Kaufman.

Not immediately clear is whether Rodriguez and Overnight will find a way to use the irresistible marketing slogan that appeared in the "Grindhouse" trailer: "This time, they fucked with the wrong Mexican." It is the first non-studio movie that Rodriguez has directed since "El Mariachi."

For Fox, Rodriguez has scripted "Predators," a film that will bring back the dreadlock-sporting alien hunter who originated in the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger hit "Predator." While a sequel didn't become a hit, Fox kept the alien sharp by launching the "Alien Vs. Predator," a wildly profitable series that has racked up strong grosses and DVD sales, wit little or no gross out the door.

While Rodriguez juggles these projects, he's also directing his script "Nerveracker" for Dimension Films, with Bob Weinstein setting a 2010 release for the futuristic action thriller.

Campaign: Scully To Remove Foul Taste of EmoWho

So, that crazy Doctor Who, eh? Regenerating every now and then, changing appearance to prolong his life. Or in business terms, "We've chosen an actor that really isn't going to sit well with you at all. Break the internet!" The actor in question is the man stepping into David Tennant's slippers and his name is Matt Smith. Yet this is old news, we're familiar with his emo looks by now and we still hate it. So why's Gillian Anderson up there? Not only does Blammo intend to propose to her (for a spot of coffee, stupid), but she's rumoured to appear in Smith's first season, thanks to the words of The Telegraph.

Anderson has been linked to play The Rani, a "Time Lady" who is an enemy to both The Doctor and The Master. She is essentially, an evil scientist, concentrating on experiments and research instead of focusing on masterplans to thwart her arch nemesises. In the original Who, The Rani was played by 357 year old actress, Kate O'Mara, and if anything needs to change with this proposed update, it's the camp attitude that she had. Cue Gillian. I believe she could make a lasting impression to the franchise, because:

A) She's rather hawt.
B) She hasn't been on a true nerd show for ages.
C) The age gap between us is really small.

This would then lead to a Rani/Master confrontation that has to be so much better than this. Oh god, Colin Baker...

R.I.P. Cardiff

Jack Cardiff, the world's greatest ever cinematographer died today at age 94.

Here's a selection of the seventy three movies he shot over his extremely successful career:

• Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) (director of photography)
• Conan the Destroyer (1984)
• The Girl on a Motorcycle (1968)
• The Vikings (1958) (photographed by)
• The Barefoot Contessa (1954) (photography by)
• The African Queen (1951) (director of photography)
• The Red Shoes (1948) (director of photography)
• Black Narcissus (1947) (photographed by)
• A Matter of Life and Death (1946) (photographed by)

Let the Right One In (Låt den rätte komma in)

Back in October last year millions of people flocked to their cinemas to see a love story between a vampire and a teenager that went on, despite terrible reviews, to be one of the most successful films of the year. Let the Right One In was not that film.

LtROI (or 'Lat den Ratte Komma In' for those with a better grasp on Swedish than I) is a foreign language film telling the story of a shy outcast School boy and what seems to be a mysterious girl that has moved in next door. Shot in stunning widescreen, snowy, night time it is a consistently slow but moving movie about loneliness, friendship and addiction and though shadowed by Hollywood's monster hit, Twilight, pisses all over it from a great height.

The direction of Tomas Alfredson is simply magnificent and his two young actors' performances are assured and subtle. The story is interestingly told from the young boy, Oskar's, point of view and because of this the world is seen as a very black and white place. Bullies are evil. Eli's victims are fools and losers. Oskar's Mother is a baddie whilst his Father is a goodie. Then, when it seems the reason for his parent's estrangement is due to a suggested homosexual reason on the father's part, their roles reverse. All this leads to the dream like feeling of a fairy tale (complete with the magical falling snow) chronicling Oskar's metamorphosis from scared child to self confident young man.

The story of Eli, the strange girl that lives next door, is also told in a wonderfully enigmatic way. Many questions about her and the people she comes into contact with are kept as secrets. If Oskar wouldn't have known then we as an audience won't know either.

Finally the technical details too are well worth mentioning: The cinematography is breath taking (I'm delighted to have had the opportunity to have caught one of the limited cinema screenings in the UK) and both the use of special fx and music are bordering on perfect.

Quite simply this is the a film that happily sits up there with Pan's Labyrinth s an adult's fairy tale and once again shows mainstream Hollywood how well a simple story can be told. Watch this film before the Michael Bay produced remake (the rights have already been bought) adds a sexual element, a few explosions and a chase scene featuring a six wheeler lorry jack knifing.

5 'would you still like me if you learnt I wasn't a little girl' out of 5

Husband to a murdered ummm... Maid?

USA Today just posted this pic of Russell Crowe as Robin Hood in the new Ridley Scott adaptation. Now I absolutely love the Robin Hood stories and pretty much remember the Errol Flynn Adventures of Robin Hood as one of the non science fiction films that blew my mind as a child (though I believe the Robin of Sherwood television series to be the definitive tale of the legend).

However I'm really rather lost to what this version of the story is going to be like. First I heard Crowe was playing the Sherriff (back when it was called Nottingham) and told his side of the tale (a good man doing a rough job in troubled times) as he and (a rumoured) Christian Bale battle for the love of Maid Marion. Then we were told that that this story is about how the Sheriff makes up the character of Robin Hood as a criminal to unite the people and then has to make him real as the commoners choose to champion him (so Crowe plays both parts). And finally we hear that, no, we're just going to have the good ol, standard tale again.

Hopefully an early trailer won't be far away to let us know where this is going.

Doghouse!

I'd heard of Doghouse through one piece of concept art, which I was under the impression was going to be a comic book series, yet here it is a few months on, trailer in the bag and practically ready for release!

Brought to you by Brit director, Jake West, who brought us Evil Aliens (in my eyes, a very under rated movie!), this has a good ensemble of cast members including Danny Dyer and Noel Clarke, who haven't done pretty badly in their careers. It also has Emily Booth, but I've been told to harbour those thoughts for a private time in a bathroom, lit only by candlelight and Albatross by Fleetwood Mac playing in the background.

The story is about six men who go on a little excursion from every day lives to help their friend who's emotionally stressed from his recent divorce. They hit the country and stumble upon a village where all the local women have been infected with a Ladies Only Virus that warp them into savage bloodthirsty predators. Predators that only attack men. Hoooo boy! Let's have a trailer!




More information can be found on the official Doghouse site.

A Nightmare sees a pretty butterfly

I've been turning my nose up at the proposed "re-imagining" of A Nightmare On Elm Street for a while now, thanks to my purist ways and my elitist gold card membership in the Church of Krueger. But this piece of news has actually promised a glint of hope with this new take, and now I can actually see this working.

Cast as Freddy Krueger is the man that put in a stellar performance as Rorschach in Watchmen, and his name is Jackie Earle Haley. Consider this probably the most perfect casting choice of anything in a long, long time. You need someone who can portray creepy and mysterious, yet relies on mindgames to lure his prey, and if all accounts of Little Children are to go by, he was meant to do that extremely well. If anyone's seen that film, please feel free to tell me how awesome it is. His Rorschach portrayal is what made Watchmen for me, and that's enough to say the blade glove is worthy to be handled by Haley. How many wagers shall we make for an Englund cameo though?

On the subject of Freddy, check out this recent fan-made trailer that surfaced last week, showing how Krueger could look in these modern times.

Collossus: The Movie

Well seems that Sony are about to have one of their most wonderful games raped into a movie - aren't we lucky! Strange choice this one though. Peter Jackson's Halo you can understand (and I still think could have been a good film), same goes for Tomb Raider reboots (okay I'm probably just an old perve) but Shadow of the Colossus? It's not like the kids on the street will flock to see a film version of the masterpiece of a game. Here's the original report from Variety magazine:

Sony will adapt the popular PlayStation 2 title "Shadow of the Colossus" into a bigscreen actioner, with Justin Marks penning the screenplay and Kevin Misher in negotiations to produce.

"Colossus," which bowed exclusively on the PlayStation 2 in 2005, revolves around a man named Wander who must travel across a cursed wasteland and defeat 16 creatures, known as the colossi, in order to restore the life of a girl.

Project, which proved a big seller for PlayStation and was produced internally by Sony Computer Entertainment, will build upon the vidgame's fantasy setting of a solitary world with few characters other than the 16 enemies.

"Colossus" is the latest high-profile project for Marks, who is writing the redo of "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: Captain Nemo" at Disney, with McG attached to direct. He recently landed "Suicide Squad," based on the DC Comics book, at Warner Bros., for which he's also written "Green Arrow: Escape From Supermax," also based on the DC character, and "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe."

He's also adapted "Hack/Slash" for Relativity, based on the Devil's Due comicbook, and the '80s TV toon "Voltron: Defender of the Universe," for Mark Gordon Prods.

Misher will produce through his Misher Films shingle.

His pic "Fighting" bows this month through Rogue, and "Public Enemies" goes out this summer through Universal. Misher has a number of projects in development at Paramount, including the romantic comedy "Swingles" and "One Free Murder," which Marks wrote based on an idea by Nicholas Pileggi. Variety.com

The Haunting In Connecticut

This is based on a true story, although it's positive part (near enough all) of the truth has been exaggerated somewhat for the sake of shitting you up even more. Although saying that, THIC can lay claim to being a damn sight better than the remake of The Amityville Horror a few years back.

So, a teen, Matt, is diagnosed with cancer and has to be driven by his mother from state to state in order to receive intensive experimental treatment. It's decided that in order to make life simple for the family, they'd have to move closer to the hospital. Hark then as we discover that they've conveniently moved to the location of the movie, Connecticut!

It's from there on, that strange things start happening within the house, things that only Matt can see. Things that his family believe they're hallucinogenic side effects from the medication. I mean, wouldn't it just be totally unlucky if that it was discovered that the house was an old funeral home, and even unluckier that within the home itself, seances were held and cultist rituals were performed? Really that would be reeeeal unfortunate. Oh dear.

Sadly, instead of offering anything new, it truly is a paint-by-numbers haunted house movie. You know something's going to pop up onscreen, in an effort to make you shit your pants. Although, not ALL the time, something will catch you off guard, which throws predictability towards a window, and leaves it hanging off a splintered wood. The pace of the movie is quite fast too, in terms of events happening. In terms of dialogue, it's yawnsome. Rushed, and not polished. Some of the effects are gruesome, whilst others appear dated. At one point, I had to remember I wasn't watching Spawn again. I guess the less said about actual performances, the better, the floorboards of the house were more likely to win an award for Best Supporting Role.

I feel it's about time someone made a refreshing look at a haunted house movie, as THIC threatens to be the final nail in the coffin until someone else decides Amityville needs a modern twist. THIC is a film you've seen before time and time again, and not one you'll hurry back too either. Oh god, with that RIDICULOUS ending? Say no more.

2 points very loosely based on a true story, which was actually the account of one woman and had nothing to do with cancer out of 5

JCVD pulls no punches

Men in their thirties are too old to watch martial arts films, states the central villain to his star struck lackey when, whilst holding up a Post Office in Brussels, they discover Jean Claude Van Damme to be one of their hostages. I wonder if men in their thirties are also too old to weep over a film that's premise sounds like a stupid joke but turns out to be both a moving post modern confession from the titular star and a Tarantino styled dark comedy/ bank caper

Okay let's quickly get the premise out of the way: Van Damme, sick of being offered nothing but shitty film roles and shattered from the court's injunction from seeing his daughter, returns to Brussells (the place of his birth) to start again away from the Hollywood rot. After arriving he pulls into a Post Office to cash a cheque but moments later shots are fired leaving the local police to decide why a super star has held up the local business.

What surprises first is that JCVD is neither a farce nor an action movie. It's a dark comedy and a drama. In fact it's more Dog Day Afternoon than Bloodsport. The second, and by far largest, surprise is what a terrific performance Van Damme himself gives. It goes without saying that this is his personal best performance of all time but it's better than that too. This is a great performance by any actor's standard. Times magazine actually gave him the credit for 'second best performance of 2008' (above Mickey Rourke but behind Heath Ledger) and it's good enough to make you wish that all his films were shown through the medium of French.

The performance is actually so good it's easy to forget the genius of this film is in the writing and direction from Mabrouk El Mechri. From the opening shot (a lengthy single shot showing Van Damme in a fictional action movie) you know you're in for something special and between director and star that's exactly what you get.

However JCVD isn't perfect. There is a lull in the second act where you wish they'd just get on with it but it's a minor quibble. JCVD is a genuinely excellent film and should be enjoyed thoroughly by those who don't really care for the star but adored by those with a special place for him in their hearts.

5 Flying Spin Kicks out of 5

Doctor Who Meets Bionic Woman

You knew that already. What you probably didn't know was that the trailer for the first of the final Tennant specials, Planet Of The Dead, has been released. I didn't, and here it is for your Gallifreyan fix!

Weapon X is free!

With the title of this post, I mean it's not in a pivotal plot reveal sense. Today, X-Men Origins: Wolverine found it's way onto the evil "internet", making the film readily available to anyone who loves a good torrent. Despite it being a workprint version, meaning that it is an early cut that contains a lot of unfinished FX settings, missing footage and narratives, Fox aren't going to be happy pappies about their big summer blockbuster being released a month early for free by some "leak-king". I also know that this next month is going to result in me skipping a majority of websites as by now, a million spoilers would have appeared and they will all scream in unison:

"WHAAAAA DEADPOOL FUKING SUKED!!!!!11111"

Taken

At Liam Neeson's present age, I would've thought that a physically demanding action role would have been out of the window. A lot of actors tend to wind their bodies down away from the body taxing fight scenes, running after people through crowded streets and jumping off bridges. Neeson then proves you wrong, and this is probably one of the finest films of his career. Yes, it even tops Darkman's action. Sorry, in my eyes, Jedi mentors don't cut it for me. Al Ghul's do, but that wasn't exactly a whole Neeson platform.

Taken, then. Written by Luc Besson (Leon, La Femme Nikita) and Robert Mark Kamen (The Karate Kid and er...The Transporter), Neeson is Bryan Mills, a former government operative who's adamant he's never going to go back to the life he once had for the chance of a sweet life with his daughter. A life made difficult by his ex wife (Famke Janssenomnomnomnomnom) who spoils her with lavish gifts and an extravagant lifestyle. In their world, money makes the world go round, and they have a lot of it. So with that, it's only fitting that said daughter (who, I must say, is one of the most spoilt little bitches ever to grace cinema) and friend wants to travel round the world to follow U2 on tour. Such a life! Of course, Daddy isn't happy with this decision as he knows exactly what the world is like, yet they travel to Paris anyway.

It's kind of a slow paced introduction to the characters but it magically changes at the drop of a hat as the girls get abducted for white slavery whilst on the phone to Neeson. It's from that point, and a perfectly delivered monologue from Neeson with a subtle ferocity, that the film really gets underway.

Action scenes are totally superb, I was watching and figured that this was the tale of Old Man Bourne as they are on a par with Ludlum's superspy. Yet, action doesn't make the film , and the storyline itself was well researched. I think I was more impressed at how clever it was than how kick ass the fights were. The infiltrations, the detective work, and the simple little tricks that are predicable as anything in this genre, truly surprised me.

The only thing I can suggest is that you get hold of a copy immediately and see it for yourself. I foolishly ignored it last year, and now my face has been slapped accordingly. It's only let down is the warm build up it takes, and if I could readjust the point for a Holly Valance appearance, I would. But if you really need to get away from Statham no-brainers, Neeson's your man.

4 battered slave traders out of 5

The Final Fronier (well Poster anyway)

Here's the official one piece to accompany the new movie. It's cool enough but I think for a movie like Star Trek a little more colour wouldn't go amiss. I'm not saying there's anything very wrong with it but I don't think it'll change anybody's mind about seeing the film (so I suppose rather a failure) - maybe if they'd added a green skinned alien hotty it may have helped...

What do you think?

Home by Gemma Hayes

Here is the latest music promo by Irish Indie princess (and potential ex wife of mine) Gemma Hayes. I include this vid simply as it's one that I couldn't get out of my head long after seeing it... however not necessarily for the right reasons. 'Home' has a fantastic concept and amazing imagery - right up to the first half of the song. Unfortunately after that it becomes a very standard affair. I suspect the film makers came into either some financial or serious time issues whilst in production but I can't help but feel this is a real wasted opportunity.

I can't seem to find out who directed it so if anyone knows please post in the comments below so I can amend the article.

LINK to Youtube clip of HOME

BLAMMO update

As my real world alter ego makes music promos for a living I often get asked which vids I enjoy myself. So I'm going to also add links to music videos that I think either have interesting concepts or simply just please me whenever there is a slow news day. These won't always be brand new (especially as YouTube and the PRS having sulking matches mean us in the UK are denied access to the majority of new videos) but won't always find repeated ad infinity on MTV.

Fists of Furry

Finally we get a trailer for Spike Jonze's children's fantasy movie 'Where The Wild Things Are' and I can't help but adore the look of it. It's both ridiculous and wonderful. It makes me wish I was a seven year old watching this on VHS at my Granny's house as she baked cakes and told stories. And if striped furry monsters aren't enough then check out the cast - Catherine Keener, Max Records, Mark Ruffalo, Lauren Ambrose, James Gandolfini... this is surely going to be a monster hit (sorry).

Watch the trailer here: QT Trailers

Gobstopper!

Gobstopper Trailer - watch more funny videos

Oh, how I wish Gobstopper was a real movie.Whoever had the genius idea of re-telling Charlie & The Chocolate Factory as a horror flick and got Christopher Lloyd as a right evil Wonka, really needs BLAMMO to buy them a drink. Yet, sadly it's an internet exclusive for a video site and we must turn our heads with a failed mutter of sadness as we can't get to experience this slice of awesome cake in a full feature. A heartfelt thank you though, to it's creators, spurring out original content to the internet legions that isn't a top ten list in any shape or form.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Disclaimer: I hated the idea of making this into a movie. I hated the idea of Zack Snyder making this into a movie. I hated the fact that it had to trim out the Black Freighter story from this movie. Otherwise I'm rather shocked to say not only is Watchmen not an utter travesty but it's actually a rather good film. But how good?

Well let's start with the casting. Not a foot wrong. The casting in Watchmen is just unbelievably good - where you'd expect a studio to demand a big name to play Rorschach they instead choose Jackie Earle Haley (who I last saw brilliantly play the paedophile in 'Little Children') and I can't stress enough how perfect this casting is. His journals sound like Batman from the Nolan movies, but genuinely psychotic. The kind of man driven mad enough to fight crime in a mask... but not have the lucky reserve of a butler and a billion dollars to keep him on the right side of society. In fact Jackie Earle Haley delivers my favourite line of the movie when his character finds himself behind bars: the cons that he himself had put away approach him and try to scare him but Rorschach simply turns and screams, "You think I'm stuck in here with you - BUT YOU'RE STUCK IN HERE WITH ME!!!". It's air-punchingly brilliant.

Also wonderful are the actors playing The Comedian (his look of joy as he burns Viet Cong with his flame thrower is stunning), Silk Spectre (II) and Dr Manhatten (portrayed by Billy Cruddup with the largest screen time for a big naked penis I've yet seen) however Patrick Wilson (also from Little Children) as Night Owl (II) gets the harder job of a more subtle and Everyman role and through this succeeds fantastically (especially as I felt the theatrical cut didn't really explore his character enough).

And this is where it's time to start bashing the movie. Yes it's rather unfair to start complaining stuff is missing from a story I felt was unfilmable due to the massive amount of information within its pages but I couldn't help[ but feel some really important stuff was, indeed, absent. Yeah the Tales of the Black Freight was sadly missed by us lovers of the original, but for those who haven't read Alan Moore's opus then I suspect you won't notice the space it left. Nor is it the hugely in depth history of the Minutemen (the original crime fighters) that is only present through a 30 second montage under the opening credits. No it's the important missing links to the actual main plot that become rather apparent in the last act where the 'heroes' fight their way to the villain's lair and undercover the dastardly plot. Suddenly the viewer starts to ask themselves why they are here, who this villain is and why we should care. When the final revelation is upon us we rather wish we could go back with Rorschach to kicking butt in the prison.

Regardless Watchmen is a real triumph. All the beautiful imagery is in it (from frames taken painstakingly perfectly from the art work of Dave Gibbons) and the brilliant visual parallels between watches and smiley faces that really need to be seen to be understood. The violence is shockingingly uber-violent and the direction of Zack Snyder actually, to my surprise, sits really well (with his slow motion spins and use of super close ups) within the feeling of the original story. Most importantly though, and in contrast to other Alan Moore Hollywood adaptations, Watchmen gets the point of the original text and sticks to it and that was the biggest surprise and triumph of all.

4 big blue cocks out of 5

Stallone gets Charisma

All this talk of the cast Sylvester Stallone's putting together for his movie, The Expendables and I was wondering that not only is it sounding very much like the movie a man's man would watch, but where the fucking hell are the women?

Fear not, the appreciative purveyors of the female form, for one can sit back in relief (maybe) and sigh for Charisma Carpenter (she of Buffy/Angel fame and probably some Veronica Mars) returns to a screen after the last time she was seen (by me) was in a Playboy shoot many years ago (fud-dud-dud-dud). In fact, it was always hard for me during Angel where I had to toss up between Cordelia and Amy Acker's Fred...oh god...

In other Expendable news: Stone Cold Steve Austin's signed on too, which I think is a genius masterstroke of a move! Now all we need is Vinnie Jones! But, I must remind you, Charisma Carpenter's signed on...Charisma....Charisma....

It's a Wonderland life...

Here's a couple of stills from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland that turned up on some website earlier. Now Lewis Carol's classic fairy tail seems so obvious a pairing for Burton that, for some reason, this hasn't really got me too excited. I know it should be amazing, I really do but unless it really focusses on the coming of age elements (like something like the amazing 'Company of Wolves') then maybe my lack of interest stems from the fact we've seen this story done so many times before and, maybe because of the video game that did he gothy approach well a good few years ago now, it's not like just Tim Burtoning it up will make it feel fresh.

Anyway enough of my scepticism. Enjoy the pics.

Rourke Is Russian!

Kind of unofficial breaking news, but I've just discovered that although nothing is set in stone officially as yet, you can expect some kind of announcement that Mickey Rourke will indeed be a part of Iron Man II! Whatever pay disputes from previous discussions have seemingly been nipped in the bud, and Rourke is here to play the Crimson Dynamo. Seeing as he's in Russia right now, promoting The Wrestler, I'd expect he's doing a little research...

It would be interesting to see how this develops, with talks of the Black Widow (Dushku...please...) constantly being tossed (not by me, you filthy animals) around, and which actual version of the Dynamo that's going to be used. There were twelve people in total who donned the suit, and if memory serves me correctly, "Petrovich" will be one of the most used names in the film. Apart from Stark, of course.

If I'm wrong, though, blame my source.

UPDATE: Following this revelation, another one surfaces straight after! Scarlett Johansson's The Black Widow! Not sure about this myself, I'm finding it hard to imagine her being an unrelenting, murdering operative, but we shall have to wait and see. There's hopefully a black leather jumpsuit involved somewhere and that will make The Count a very, very happy man, whilst I need to go cry into last week's episode of Dollhouse. I'm sorry, Eliza, so so sorry. Sad face.

Who's he 9mm?!

A little bit of Arnie talking about Terminator Salvation and his, sadly, very small role in The Expendables. It's more fun if you read it in a thick Austrian accent:

"I also just wanted to go back to your question because I forgot to answer your question about the Sly movie and about the Terminator movie. I have seen the movie, but I have not seen it as a finished product yet. I have not seen it yet with the Terminator special effects and some of the sound and the music is not in there yet and so on. So I really cannot comment on it, what the movie will be like as a finished product.

There's a rule that you never talk about a movie unless you have seen the finished product. But you know as I said to the director when they began that I wish them the best of luck, that I'm happy that they move forward with the franchise, I am very happy with where I am with my profession as the governor and they should try to find a way of doing a story that does not include me at all, not even one single shot in it. I don't believe in that. To kind of have them go out and promote the movie and say you know Arnold is in the movie and everyone thinks that I'm the Terminator and in fact you only see one second of me in there and so I don't think that's the right thing to do. And you know that's the danger of that, and that's why I feel reluctant to be part of the movie in the first place. So it doesn't get promoted that way.

But to talk about Sly's movie you know Sly and I we became very good friends over the last 10, 15 years, especially since the Planet Hollywood days. And we've traveled all around the world. and we've had a terrific time and so he was very helpful to me when I ran for governor. Or with any of the initiatives that were on ballot, he came to fundraising in different places and he was always there to pump up the people and all that.

So I... naturally when he asked me if I would do a cameo, which will just be something quick, like I walk out of a hotel or out of a office building and he will walk up and we will bump into each other and there will be some mumbling and then we will walk off (crowd laughs). So it will be something very simple, that will be again, just a cameo, so that's what we're going to do. I promised him I'd do that and I'm looking forward to that.

Ok? Good."

www.thearnoldfans.com/

Indianna Jones and the Story of how it Happened...

Wow this is absolutely fascinating stuff for anyone interested in writing stories, directing films or simply those who loved the three (there are ONLY three) Indiana Jones movies.

It's the transcript between Spielberg (director), Lucas (writer) and Kasdan (Screen writer) into how Raiders of the Lost Ark came about. As described by the blog (unto which you will find yourself if you click on the link) it's quite amazing first how many ideas are flung around the room between the two biggest film makers of the era and, also, how close to the finished character they already are at this, very, very early point.

Check it out: Mystery Man on Film blog

Direct Link to Transcript: Big file download

Fantastic Again?

Only a mere dirty, disgusting rumour at this stage in our lives, but 20th Century Fox is planning on lining up a reboot of Fantastic Four to erase the sweaty mess of the previous two films that had been released. Nothing's concrete as yet, and it may never, ever happen, but it's got to raise a few eyebrows at least.

I personally thought that they weren't the total abominations that people made it out to be, they managed to capture the team spirit of the books rather well, yet it wasn't anywhere near as "fantastic" as it could have been. It came close with Rise Of The Silver Surfer, but wimped out with Galactus turning out to be just a cloudy entity, instead of the planet eating monolith with a massive purple helmet (innuendo inexcusable and inescapable) we all know and love. Of all of the Marvel character movies, this was sadly one of the weakest.

Maybe it's too soon for a reboot, just as The Incredible Hulk was. Are studios and comic companies wanting all of their films to be the next Dark Knight now? This shouldn't be the case with the FF. Their adventures are often thrown into the colourful cosmos or alternate realities, not just situated defeating the big bad in the middle of the city. That's where it should be headed towards.

Fantasic Four is all about the fantastical. It's playing with characters in unbelievable situations, meaning we would very much like to see Reed Richards build a gigantic construct that opens up an interdimensional gateway to the Negative Zone, stopping Annihilus, Blastaar and other cosmic entities from enslaving our planet. Here is also a note. If you intend on making the definitive movie version of Doctor Doom, don't make him a pussy. This guy's the ruler of Latveria, he has equal the intelligence of Reed and anyone who constantly refers to himself in the third person is instantly cool. There are unlimited possibilities with this team, you'd have to agree that someone out there is itching to see it done right. Find them. Now.

Where is Blammo?

Sorry for the lack of updates - I've been extremely busy with work over the last week (with the only time off involving ninja training and mountain adventures) and will be away on production until Tuesday. Fear not BLAMMO will be back with news and reviews before you can say 'The Daily Mail hates The Watchmen almost as much as it loves the late Princess Diana'.

New Terminator: Salvation trailer

Okay I'm finding it harder and harder to not get excited about this movie. Like everybody else I was initially sickened then, when Bale came on board, confused and now... well it really does look like we may have the opportunity to eradicate the bad taste of Terminator 3 from our mouths at last! Yeah there are some real Michael Bay style shots going on in this trailer (look at the nasty overcranked camera pans and the obligatory burning tyres on road scenes) but all you bastards that went out and bought Transformers are directly to blame for the studios thinking that's the kinda shit we want to see. So go punish yourselves as you feel fitting for the crime. Then come back and check this out...

Faith in Wonder Woman

This is some cool news for Dushku fans! Following the prolonged rumours about Joss Whedon's on/ off love affair with a feature length Wonder Woman movie, WENN.com have announced that Lynda Carter (the goddess who played the titulat (fnaar) character in the 70s tv show) has declared her blessing for the Buffy actress. Just more rumours at the moment of course but any excuse to post a picture of Wonder Woman and BLAMMO is here to appease those masses, driven mad through the denial of such photographs on lesser film blogs. Yeah.

"Lynda Carter has officially passed the Wonder Woman baton to actress Eliza Dushku, insisting she'd make a great comic book heroine.

Carter, who played the iconic character on TV in the 1970s, insists the world needs a new Wonder Woman - and if reports suggesting director Joss Whedon is set to launch a new franchise with Dushku are correct, the original star would be thrilled.

She tells WENN, "I've always liked Joss, and Eliza would make a great Wonder Woman."

Carter has even offered her services to help groom the next Wonder Woman.

She adds, "People worry about, 'I really helped with this movie and I didn't get paid,' which I could care less about. People don't usually contact the original people to find things out because they're afraid of being sued claiming it was their idea. I hope if they make the movie it makes a bajillion (millions) dollars, which means they'll continue to make them." http://www.wenn.com/

Star Trek Next Generation movie rumour!

Just a quick one here guys but according to a few sites online some one at WonderCon has let slip that JJ Abrahms' new Star Trek movie may have some connection with the Next Generation characters... to the point that people are discussing they may be involved in a follow up movie or TV series. Now this doesn't make any sense whatsoever to me (why put all the effort into re-establishing the new crew if the next movie will mean establishing another one again?) but I'll keep reporting it as the rumours come...

EDIT: Okay latest story is that it's just a reference to characters from TNG. That's a strange way to fuck with canon and all that but I admire the tenacity!

Too Soon To Recall

Total Recall. We all loved it, and I, for one, feel better that I have it sitting in my collection. How we loved Verhoeven's displays of bulging faces when in contact with Mars' uninhabitable atmosphere, Arnie shouting "EEEEYOWARR" in a chair, Michael Ironside losing his arms after forgetting how to travel in elevators, and as above, alien women with three titties.

"Ha.Ha.Ha. You dink dis is dur REEL Quaid? Id is" BRAKKA BRAKKA BRAKKA. Legendary.

The film's still fresh in our minds and our hearts, especially as it's on at least one channel a week. So, we ask the question:

WHY ARE COLUMBIA PICTURES PLANNING TO REMAKE THIS?

Someone seems to think it's a genius of an idea, such as producer Neil H Moritz, head of a company called Original Films. Yeah, I'm rolling around with the irony too. He's pitched for the remake platter, claiming that a more faithful interpretation of Philip K Dick's short story on which it is based upon, We Can Remember It For You Wholesale would benefit with today's film making technologies.

I think it's way too soon to even begin about contemplating this. The film's great as it is, in all of it's sci fi cheesiness. We've grown accustomed to all of it's typical Arnie one liners, gratuitious Paul Verhoeven bloodshed and still some great special effects. How exactly can you improve a woman with three beubs anyway? And besides, there's plenty of other sci fi writers out there other than Phillip K Dicks, you know...

Never Ever Ever Ending Story

In their continuation of their latest obsession to rape the child hood memories of adults in their late twenties and early thirties, Hollywood have announced they are remaking The Never Ending Story.

Now in fairness the, admittedly awesome movie, doesn't really follow the original novel too closely (and is only the first part of the aforementioned book, the rest was made up through the weak ass sequels) so there's a chance this may be one of those decent remakes (I can't think of any off of the top of my head). We'll see...

However without the eighties awesomness of Limahl the idea does worry me slightly... okay I'm terrified of change godammit!

Click for singing funz

The "Buzz" About Green

The Green Hornet movie has been talked about since even before Watchmen tin lunchboxes were conceived. It's had a fair few people attached to it, Kevin Smith was approached, but pulled out, then the current golden boy of Hollywood comedy, Seth Rogen has been talked about getting involved, with starring and script duties. Stephen Chow of Kung Fu Hustle and Shaolin Soccer fame is also tagged to this, previously on to direct but looking more so to fill Bruce Lee's shoes as butt kicking sidekick, Kato.

Today, Variety have published a new stirring pot for discussion. It's apparent new director. You know him of late for Be Kind Rewind. That man is Michel Gondry. And that's all I have to go on! So far every site has just printed two sentences on this news, and nothing else. Speculation or reality? We'll find out when someone writes a paragraph.

Slow news day

So Jon Favreau has confirmed Emily Blunt will not be playing Black Widow. Not really news worthy I know but it's an excuse to show Dushku in a cat suit. Dang.

Live Blammo Oscars Blog!

DISCLAIMER: Expect bad spelling and bad grammar in the following. Also large amounts of alcohol were consumed so this may come across as rather cryptic. Sorry.

So I'm already annoyed.
Next Winkleman and Gok are doing the 'expert commentating' so I'm even more annoyed. Whatever happened to the wonderful days of Barry Norman at 2am, drunk as a Wogan, falling asleep in his comfy, dimly lit room?
Anyway I'm going to post away all night til I'm too drunk to stay awake any longer so expect soem really brilliant posts that will then be deleted the next morning before my agent reads them and fires me.
Sponsored by Moet. Damn I love that stuff.
Heh - aparently Mickey Rourke has refused to sign on to Iron Man 2 until after this evening. Bloody good work there sir.
Oooow pretty!
Oh Wolverine made a racist joke about New Zealand. Funniez!
Heh Wolverine is singing! This is fun! I actually prefer this 20 dollar version that the Billy Crystal 20 million dollar versions!
Okay first nomination is up. After the energy of Jackman this is rather boring.

Best Supporting Actress
Ah cool Penelope Cruz gets the first award meaning the BLAMMO is up one point in teh oscar sweep stake!
Nice lil speech with a bit of swearing at Jade Goody in Spanish at the end (I assume).

Best Original Screenplay
Tina Fay and Steve Martin up for presenting... with the latter being funny for the first time since Bowfinger. Is Tina Fey that great? It would seem so. Yes.
Anyway - C'mon 'In Bruges'!
Bah - MILK wins. Over the top over stereotypical American speech.

Best Adapted Screenplay.
Tina Fey is secseee. Probably The Reader will win here or Slumdog. Yup Slumdog. It's hard to remember that this was almost a straight to video film. Nice to see a Brit up there, or at very least a man not talking about God. Good short speech, straight to the point.

Best Animated Feature
Jack Black is awesome and Jennifer Anniston is not very funny. Cheeky little cut to Angelina Jolie to please the gossip pages. If WallE doesn't win here then the whole thing is a sad joke. It's stupid that it wasn't a Best Picture nomination.
YES! Wall E gets it. Nice little speech.

Best Animated Short
Nice little banter between the old lady and JD. Oh sorry wasn't paying attention. Japanese guy won - awesoem short speech.
SKY TV showing how rubbish it is again with Danny Wallace being the only person's opinion I care about there.

Best Art Design.
It's James Bond and... his horse?
This has to be Dark Knight.
Benjamin Button? Godamn you Oscars. It's amazing looking but Dark Knight is astounding. Bah. I suspect this traversty had something to do with the horse.
Generic thank you speech by one guy then awkward silence then music came in at the start of the second guy's.

Best Costume Design
James Bond seems to be having trouble with the autocue. Maybe Dutchess or Australia. Yeah The Dutchess. Pretty dresses and all that.
Very nervous speech from another Brit.
I'm really liking this theatrical set design.

OKay my stream froze so I missed Benjamin Button win Best Make up - contreversial choice as that was enhanced with CGI.
Now the teenage vampire guy and a hot blonde chick seem to be presenting a showreel of romantic scenes from movies. Bring back Wolverine!
Oh Christ more SKY TV crap. BRING BACK BARRY NORMAN - this old woman is appaling.

Best Cinematography
Ben Stiller and Nathalie Portman. Stiller is wearing a silly beard. Fuunnnnnny. Nathalie looks beautiful. Dark Knight? Nope - Slumdog. Is Dark Knight even going to get the supporting actor for Heath? Another Brit but dull speech.
Back to SKY TV studios and for some reason they're saying how good Jenifer Anniston was. Oh yay - Jessica Beale. Mmmm. Sci Tech awards recap. Okayyyyy. Oh no not back to the studio
Pinapple Express guys skit on the nominated movies. Seth Rogen has lost a shit load of weight! It's quite a sweet way of showcasing the movies really. "They made me do it Spielberg" - nice line for what is a stale old joke.

Best Live Action Short
Heheh nice presentation and the win goes to SPGHGKHGKHGgeleund (sic). Charming German guy who really seemed delighted.
Uh oh advert break... does this mean more SKY TV people? Oh god here we go. Oh thank God - we're back with Wolverine. It's another musical number! And Beyonce has joined him as they go through a medley of musical numbers. Heh yeah this is fun - shame the sound balance isn't perfect. Loving the way the music seems to keep cutting to the Dr Evil theme before each advert break. I bet Sean Penn doesn't like what Wolverine has doen to his award ceremony!

Best Supporting Actor
Several super star ex winners come out and do a better job than the ladies did earlier. Heh Cuba jnr lightly taking the piss out of Downey Jnr for taking the roles of 'brothers' by doing it so well in black face.There will be Boos if Ledger doesn't get this. And it goes to... Heath Ledger. Ah top stuff. Ledger's family accept in his place. Brad Pitt looks like he's about to cry. So does everyone actually. Oh - Nolan looks liek he's keeping it together! Yeah nice speech.
A little showreel on how film making has changed in late. Nice enough but hardly inspiring.

Best Documentary
Some critically acclaimed ones in this category but I suspect Man on Wire will get it. Yes! Hahahah amusing speeches. Another win for the Brits (and a lunatic French man). Oh yeah great stuff- the Frenchie is doing magic tricks and balancing the statue on his head - this will displease a certain Milk actor!

Best Short Docu
Wow that seemed to happen very quickly. Smile Pinky wins. Sorry I have no idea about this one. Very excitable speech about the plights of whatever her docu was about.

Damn frozen again. Well atleast I don't have to hear the commentry from the SKY TV folk again. Seriosuly next time guys get Mark Kermode in or that crazy tashed guy who writes for Empire. At any rate find someone who has soem connection with film please!
Right freeze is over! Seem to be in the middle of a montage of action sequences!
Batman Begins music plays and Will Smith has turned up - that makes little sense but okay!

Best Visual Effects
I suspect BB will get this but it seems kinda unfair now considering it was awarded Best Make Up. Yeah BB. Ah well they really were incredible in this movie. Generic speech but nice enough.

Best Sound Editing.
I think Dark Knight will finally get a non Heath Ledger award for this. Yay!!!! About time too. The sound effects really are amazing in The Dark Knight and... oh yeah every one's seen it so anything I say here is redundant. Aww a big smile from Nolan when mentioned in teh speech.

Best Sound Mixing
Another Dark Knight possibility here? Could go to Slumdog though. Yup, I haven't seen it but I find it very hard to believe that Slumdog's sound mixing could bas as great as some of the nominees... how about Wall E?! Ah well really lovely speech. Hehhe you could see the other guys trying to move towards the microphone before the time run out!

Best Editing
Will Smith presenting and is still being charming. Oscar goes to... Slumdog Millionaire. Wow this little movie really has done well. I'm yet to see it but it really is amazing that it's pummelled the likes of Benjamin Button and The Dark Knight in the award count. Hooray U.K! Danny Boyle hasn't stopped grinning over the last three hours.

Okay back to the studio. Stupid old bat doesn't reckon Heath Ledger should have got the award. Danny disagrees. Even the feeling in the room seems to be that she's a twat. They all seem very fed up with her company.
Eddie Murphy is here to give an award to Jerry Lewis. He hasn't made any jokes and is just reading from the teleprompt. Bad form Eddie - you could have joined the surprise humour train that Steve Martin was riding! Standing ovation for a man that looks old enough to be a Republican presidential candidate. Jerry is reading from the prompter too which is a shame. Nice short speech though.

Wolverine's back briefly to introduce the Oscars conductor who is leading the orchestra into samples from the nominated movies. Sounds amazing.

Best Original Score
All wonderful scores so no idea who'll get it. The winner is... Slumdog Millionaire! Hhehe cheeky little Indian guy gives charming speech.
Okay fatigue kicking in now but all the singing and dancing seemed lovely.

Best Song
The Oscar goes to Slumdog Millionaire. Another nice short speech by the composer.

Best Actor.
Again ex winners come to present. Great predigree though featuing Dougless, Kinglsey, Deniro, Hopkins and Brody. Come on Rourke! Any of these actors can win though... it's gonna be tight. And the oscar goes to.... Sean Penn. Bah. BAH. GTFO Oscar Decent enough speech though with the obvious political message. Kudos to Penn for the kind words to Rourke.

Best Picture
Oh cool Spielberg. He's never very good at this kind of thing. Ah good - keep it short. Montage rolls of the nominations juxtaposed against previous winners. And the Oscar for Best Picture 2009 goes to Slumdog Millionaire. Though a bookies fave, a small indie film in nature and theme so, as well as it being a Uk movie, I'm very pleased for it. Good work guys! Standard if decent enough speech - now I want more Wolverine singing and dancing!
Oh balls - we're back in the studio. Better feeling in the studio no - even Stephanie Beacham seems to have been injected with some joy (though she had already stated she didn't want Ledger or Winslet to win so must feel slightluy defeated - ha!).

Ah well great evening and I loved the cheap, more intimate version of The Oscars. A cup of tea then bed methinks! Good night all!

Results (quoted from IMDB):

Best Motion Picture of the Year

Winner: Slumdog Millionaire (2008) - Christian Colson

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Winner: Sean Penn for Milk (2008/I)

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Winner: Kate Winslet for The Reader (2008)

Best Achievement in Directing

Winner: Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year

Winner: Okuribito (2008)(Japan)

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song

Winner: Slumdog Millionaire (2008) - A.R. Rahman, Sampooran Singh Gulzar("Jai Ho")

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score

Winner: Slumdog Millionaire (2008) - A.R. Rahman

Best Achievement in Editing

Winner: Slumdog Millionaire (2008) - Chris Dickens

Best Achievement in Sound

Winner: Slumdog Millionaire (2008) - Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke, Resul Pookutty

Best Achievement in Sound Editing

Winner: The Dark Knight (2008) - Richard King

Best Achievement in Visual Effects

Winner: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) - Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton, Craig Barron

Best Documentary, Short Subjects

Winner: Smile Pinki (2008) - Megan Mylan

Best Documentary, Features

Winner: Man on Wire (2008) - James Marsh, Simon Chinn

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Winner: Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight (2008)

Best Short Film, Live Action

Winner: Spielzeugland (2007) - Jochen Alexander Freydank

Best Achievement in Cinematography

Winner: Slumdog Millionaire (2008) - Anthony Dod Mantle

Best Achievement in Makeup

Winner: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) - Greg Cannom

Best Achievement in Costume Design

Winner: The Duchess (2008) - Michael O'Connor

Best Achievement in Art Direction

Winner: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) - Donald Graham Burt, Victor J. Zolfo

Best Short Film, Animated

Winner: Maison en petits cubes, La (2008) - Kunio Katô

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year

Winner: WALL·E (2008) - Andrew Stanton

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published

Winner: Slumdog Millionaire (2008) - Simon Beaufoy

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen

Winner: Milk (2008/I) - Dustin Lance Black

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Winner: Penélope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)