Day of the Dead 2: Contagium

Okay maybe not the greatest way to start a movie review blog but hell - it can only get better from here. I offer you Day of the Dead II: Contagium.

Now, though a proper movie nerd, I'm not one of those zombie movie fanatics. Yeah I dug Night and Dawn of the Dead but I thought the third and fourth films sucked arse. In fact the only other zombie movies I've ever even liked were Shaun of the Dead and that Dawn of the Dead remake so I'm neither over passionate for the genre in a positive way or, to that point, overly passionate negatively. To paraphrase Miles Davis - I like good movies regardless of the genre. However, maybe beacuse of what I do, I have a weakness for low budget flicks as I like to see how they overcome the shortcomings of their wallet and do what they can to entertain me. For this reason I'm actually rather a big fan of the Zone Horror channel features and often find myself choosing a B Movie over a full blown Hollywood affair being shown on anotehr channel.

This whole introduction, however, is to show you that I'm happy to watch utter trash in the name of entertainment but didn't help Dawn of the Dead II in any way from just being shit.

In fact to describe this film as shit does feces a terrible injustice. Dawn of the Dead II is apparently a prequal of sorts to the original Romero movies... however it doesn't actually do any real explaining of why there are zombies and why they seem to be speaking Russian. Oh and why they also seem to be infected through fairies. Yeah you know fairies like the types that sneak about the bottom of the garden. Yeah I was really confused too.

What DoD2 does right is introduce characters to us and give us the time to know them before turning them into the dead. What it does wrong is it spends too much time with these badly written, badly directed characters so that we simply don't give a fuck by the time the fairies get them. Yeah fairies. Actually to state that as the one thing it does wrong, again, is just totally unfair on any other production ever made. DotD2 looks shit. It sounds shit. It is shit.

And then when you're about to forgive it some what for its miniscule budget you look it up and discover the budget was around the nine million dollars mark. Yup $9,000,000. That's more than the original Terminator cost, more than Desperado and nine times more than Reservoir Dogs.

In short - fuck you Day of the Dead II: Contagium. Yes I think you deserve to die and I hope you burn in hell.

Zero out of Five.